I think I know enough about the language to talk about things here, then. I've had a thought of a tulpa for years, but the first information I found was on 8ch.net/tulpa/. When I first started forcing, I would sit in a dark closet for an hour and listen to rain music, and ended up getting discouraged from it after a week. This was a couple years ago. The past half year, however, I've been intermittenly making an attempt at getting to making her again. I'm not very consistent but she does help reassure me sometimes.
I'm having trouble finding the language to word my questions.
Tl;dr, I have a ton of social anxiety, and I think it might start applying to her as she becomes more coherent. At the same time I worry constantly that I'm not giving her enough attention. She can make simple statements while I'm paying attention to her but no more.
8:09 PM
I wanted a tulpa because I dissociate constantly, as well.
Just do your best. I think you should err on lengthy descriptions of what you mean rather than uncertain terms/shaky metaphor because even if it's hard to read it will filter out the responses to be from those invested enough to read and respond.
@RosySpex ΘΔ If you are concerned about social anxiety... it is certainly possible that it will still apply to your tulpa as well, but it may express itself differently. Or, it may not be there to nearly the same degree.
8:10 PM
I am far more socially anxious than Skye is, for example.
It is likely that you may be correct. This was the case for me, even if my host coped well with unacceptably high stress levels and social anxiety and forced himself through without much trouble.
However it may be reduced with a tulpa who has significant reason and motivation to socialize. This would inevitably lead to confrontation of the source of stress and subsequent reduction through exposure, hopefully. Unless there's more complicated things at the root.
There are too many factors going into it to make a clear prediction, essentially.
8:12 PM
As for concerns about giving enough attention - that is up to you. The more attention, and the more varied the experience you give them, the better and more effectively they develop. The less attention and experience given, the less they develop.
It boils down to whether or not social anxiety is an expression of physiological brain chemistry and structural development or if it is related to more personali and self-related issues.
Some things are universal to everyone in a system, some things are changed, and one only knows what is a universal property and what is a personal property by observing with tulpas and acquiring a feel for things that come with personality changes and things that come prepackaged with your physical development and/or genetics.
8:16 PM
One way to supplement development without strict interaction on the normal level is exposing the thoughtform/"idea" of the personality to media and memories and observing what the reaction is. Perhaps at the start you have to think about what the reaction would be consciously, but normally the subconscious will begin producing reactions and even surprise you sometimes. This is natural as it is a social trait humans have to plan social interactions with people they know, simulating how they might respond to your behavior before you act.
The natural development of any personality is primarily a result of having exposure to a variety of situations and reinforcing traits/self perception/identity while filling in "gaps" where there's honest confusion and no response that feels natural. This is how human personalities develop naturally, even, so it is definitely applicable to tulpas. Just be aware of the difference between imagination and reality, sometimes imagined response is different from an equal reality situation due to the "safety" of imagination in comparison to reality.
8:20 PM
Passive forcing, is, as I understand, another form of situational exposure. It can't hurt, but it's just more of the same as far as I can tell.
I said this before in #tulpa-questions, but the goal is giving them experience. Situational exposure via passive forcing, actively showing them the current situation or something around you via active forcing, speaking to them via narrating, etc. All of these are experiences that benefit them.
8:21 PM
To varying degrees, mind.
8:21 PM
The more focused, the better. The more varied, the better.
8:21 PM
But, compared to no forcing at all, it is all better.
Ok, so now onto stuff that you guys might not approve of, I have an area of my wonderland that is dedicated to violence, and I take her there with me sometimes while I force. Is experiencing violence bad for a growing tulpa? I remember a story a few years ago where some guy made a tulpa to torture it, and I really don't want to end up like him. Sorry if this sounds like the start of a creepypasta, I'm asking now so I can stop doing it if it's going to hurt either of us.
I mean I do violent things to imaginary people or monsters and she helps me. We could be fighting in the Prussian army one day, and the next we'll be trying to survive a zombie outbreak, etc, etc. One time I tortured someone, though, and it made me really uncomfortable in the long term because she helped me. I don't want her to think that that's ok to do to physical people.
fighting inside of a wonderland is something not unheard of, it's been mentioned by several others before, though I have no idea what its effects are on a tulpa that's still developing
@RosySpex ΘΔ Many people have imaginary "violence" that is not to the same degree as actual violence, or without the same associations tied to it. If you are particularly concerned, perhaps you could make it more comical or otherwise less realistic. Or, beyond that, establish that violence is generally... not the best solution to problems, and something to be avoided in reality.
8:34 PM
But, people do enjoy violent things. Look at how successful Game of Thrones is, or shonen anime.
Thanks a bundle, I really appreciate your guys reassurance. Now, I've been laying down to try and force the whole time I've been trying, is there something else I should be doing? I fall asleep sometimes.
I think exposure to violence through the development of a personality from conception may be very unpredictable. I do not think play-violence is bad, and children commonly have imaginary battles with blood and gore in their mind's eye, but I guess I would try to know what the line is between play and something potentially detrimental.
9:41 PM
Also it could have an effect even if they are sheltered wholly from any perception of danger if there are other subconscious influences from possibly the brain's structural development period or the implications applied to the tulpas expected capabilities. This means I don't see a way to prevent certain impacts 100%, and I don't 100% think imagined violence will always result in an impact.
[Imagined violence can be bad if A) you want to act on it or B) it's bothering you. For the latter, dark thoughts are the source and these occur all the time. However, people with anxiety/depression are more likely to be bothered by them (ex. Person thinks about shoving a stranger in front of a bus and visualizes the bus running them over and the human splatter..). Dark thoughts won't hurt a Tulpa unless the Tulpa believes the dark thoughts define them or they have the desire to act on them (so watch out for A).]
To those of you with tulpas whose gender is opposite of yours, have you noticed any changes in your mannerisms because of that? I've had my girls for a while and I occasionally find myself doing subtle body language stuff I didn't used to
Well, in creating tulpas we're of course in some sense "making sense" of our tulpas. In developing independent identities, we have to understand those identities on some level.
3:42 PM
If one is "feminine" of course that might rub off.
While we both consider ourselves to be female, I do think that I am far more feminine that Angel. I do think that if one of us is switched in for a long while, that we have some body language that we pick up, for example, I am nearly always up front now, and Angel sits with her knees together often, now.
Definitely a thing for some people, however it doesn't affect our system. Our brain is rather good at keeping everything about us separate.
5:37 PM
Even memories, even ones years old, are "tinted" with the feeling of whoever was fronting. We can remember who wrote posts on a certain subject on the forum pretty consistently.
5:38 PM
But I could easily see that not being the case for a system, and it sounds quite potentially confusing.
So I'm a trans guy, and I didn't realize I was trans until a few months after I started creating Alex who is male. Maybe that could have had something to do with me being trans, or at least realizing I was?
@glitchthe3rd My host and I do behave differently in body language and speech I think. I don't think it has much to do with gender, it is probably due to how we use the body in different ways to serve different goals in the short term.
